Orthodox Christian Birth Story: Our Fifth Baby
Our sweet baby number #5 is a testament of God, always trying to bring us closer to Him and trust His perfect plan. Before he was conceived, my husband and I prayed at length about having another baby. We had always talked about having a large family but our fourth baby was proving to be a very challenging toddler and we didn’t know if we had the ability to properly parent another child.
When my toddler was 22 months old I was nearing my fertile window. So I told my husband, Fr. Colin, “If we’re together now, we may conceive.” His response was, “If God wills, may it be blessed.” Two weeks later, I walked down the stairs in the early hours of the morning, holding a positive pregnancy test.
The Pregnancy
Even before the positive pregnancy test, I was nauseous. In fact, it was the nausea and a craving for cocktail dill pickles that made my husband aware I was very likely pregnant. My first trimester was very “normal”. Nausea, fatigue, salty/savory cravings. I had one puking weekend where I was laid out at my in-laws, but other than that, I just fought the “hungover” feeling for about 10 weeks.
From there, the pregnancy was easy and wonderful up till the last two months. I exercised regularly, ate really well, I didn’t have any major sugar cravings, and continued on with normal life truly forgetting I was pregnant sometimes. And where with my previous pregnancies I struggled mentally with the physical changes and weight gain, God eased that burden and I simply appreciated the beauty and life-giving work my body was doing.
The only physical frustration I can claim was my varicose veins in my right leg. They were irritating from about 20 to 30 weeks. But they were noticeably more manageable when I was consistently drinking NORA tea, so I was very grateful for that finding.
Then, when I was 8 months pregnant, my dear aunt went on hospice and my whole family flew to California to be with her for her final weeks. It was an incredible blessing to be present with her, but also one of the most surreal circumstances I’ve ever found myself in — to mourn death, while expecting my baby to come in the near future. You can read the whole story here.
Once we got home from California, it was as if my body, under so much stress and grief, kind of fell apart. All of the physical discomfort came on like a tsunami and I found myself unable to walk because of such bad sciatica and sacral pain. My chiropractor did all she could do but weeks 38 to 40ish were pretty painful and of course, very emotional.
But once the baby was engaged, around 40 weeks, most of my pain subsided and it was simply a mental game of waiting for when the Lord and our sweet baby were ready.
Physically and emotionally feeling better after a rough few weeks. 40w2d.
Enjoying a beautiful summer afternoon, 40w4d.
Lead up to labor
All of my babies have come after 41 weeks, so you would think that I’d have zero hope or expectation to have a baby before 41 weeks. And yet, I was so uncomfortable and ready to meet my babe, not to mention the grief and desire for pure joy, I really did hope this baby would be earlier than the rest.
As 40 weeks turned into 41 weeks, I did my best to keep busy and find things around the house to take my mind off waiting for a baby. I talked with dear friends and asked for their prayers to patiently endure, took the kiddos to the pool or had play dates, baked, cooked, and froze meals, and constantly prayed that God would give me the strength to endure the wait.
My parents came to town when I was 41w2d, and I really thought I’d have a baby shortly after they arrived. I didn’t. But thankfully, my parents were amazing and simply kept saying, “No need to rush a good thing” or “There’s no harm in waiting, we can stay busy.” And my dad, funny enough, jokingly requested that I let him know which day I was having the baby so that he could go to his brother's house for a visit. It didn’t work out quite that smoothly but it was close!
While waiting, my mom and I took the kids hiking, we went thrifting, we crocheted, and just genuinely enjoyed each other's company. Of course, I had multiple crying sessions, which is always therapeutic for me, and my wonderful team simply loved and encouraged me through them.
A beautiful hike with my mom and the kids. 41w3d.
More nesting, 41w4d.
On Monday, July 27, I had an appointment with my midwife. I was 41w5d and I discussed the benefits and risks of a membrane sweep. I had one when I was pregnant with my first daughter, where it was unsuccessful at 39 and 40 weeks, and with my second daughter where it was what finally tipped me into full labor at 41w5d. So, with all that in mind, I decided to have her sweep my membranes and then we did a round of side lying releases to try to get the baby into a better position (he was favoring posterior most of my pregnancy).
*Just a note on membrane sweeps… I will write another article later about them. But I want to be completely honest that I don’t call a membrane sweep a “natural induction”. I understand that it’s an intervention that comes with risks and it should only be performed when the mother feels completely at peace with the choice and has a team that knows what they’re doing. Sweeps are much more successful later in pregnancy because the body is already so close to labor. Ultimately, a membrane sweep will either work or it won’t. It’s not like pharmaceutical induction that forces the body to start labor when it’s not ready, but it is an intervention. There are many reasons to choose a membrane sweep, but please know that if you don’t want one, you can still have spontaneous labor after 41 weeks like I did with my fourth baby*.
After my midwife appointment I had lunch and then performed a round of the Miles Circuit, to try to encourage the baby into a better position. I don’t think the Miles Circuit is an “induction” method either, but it can be very useful for repositioning the baby. After the circuit, which takes about an hour and a half (or longer if you fall asleep in the second position like I did) we went to the pool! It was so fun and refreshing. We played, laughed, and then my mom and I went to the store for some last minute dinner items.
This is the first position for the Miles Circuit, its meant to scoot baby out of the pelvis so they can adjust their orientation in the later positions.
I forgot to mention that over the last week, I had been having early labor stuff, every other night. And every day that passed it got more uncomfortable. So what started as random cramping and braxton hicks, turned into cramping and braxton hicks every 20 minutes, which turned into clear easy contractions that lasted about 30-40 seconds. I was also experiencing some loss of mucus and frequent bowel movements over the last week, which are both signs that the body is preparing for labor. By the time Tuesday came along, 41w6d. I was not surprised that I was having another day of “labory” stuff, since I hadn’t felt much on Monday.
On Tuesday morning, I went to the bathroom and had lost my mucus plug! It was also quite bloody, which means we were absolutely heading towards labor. Then when we were finishing up breakfast, my mom casually said, “Oh, I forgot to see which saints are commemorated today.” So, my husband checked, said all the names, and lastly said St. Irene Chrystovolantou, who is a well known saint for her intercessions with fertility and child bearing. I was immediately hit with a feeling of Grace and reassurance, that we were so close to having a baby and St. Irene was indeed praying for me. It was such a beautiful gift.
After breakfast, contractions were coming but weren’t taking my attention and they were still 10-30 minutes apart. I told my mom and husband and my mom said, “Oh this is sounding a lot like Chryse’s labor (my younger sister), and then she was born after only two intense contractions!” I laughed but let my midwife know everything that was going on and decided we needed to get out of the house now, before anything changed. Fr. Colin went to the office and my dad was on his way home from his brother’s house.
So mom and I took the kiddos to a consignment store and Walmart before I had to leave for my chiropractor appointment. After my chiropractor appointment, I went home and planned to stay home. Even though contractions still weren’t taking my attention, I knew I needed to be home for the rest of the evening.
From about 3 to 6, we relaxed, ate tacos for dinner, and then went on our nightly family walk. On the walk, contractions were coming more frequently, like 5-8 minutes apart and getting more uncomfortable. My mom and I were talking about baby names when I got one particularly uncomfortable one and I had to lean down and put my hands on my knees. I started crying! I was just so excited and thankful that labor really was coming soon — yes, I was still not saying I was going to have a baby that night…
It’s labor time
When we got home from the family walk, we all sat outside and did our family readalouds while I paced back and forth in the yard — partly to keep the contractions coming like they were earlier on the walk, and partly to just give me something to do rather than sit and wait for another contraction. When the family went inside for evening prayers and bedtime, I told Fr. Colin that I couldn’t stand at prayers but I’d listen from the living room where I could sit on my exercise ball. One contraction on the ball (after all that walking) was a big “no way”. It was so uncomfortable and I was at the point where I needed to focus on breathing to manage the contractions.
After prayers, the kids were put to bed and we talked about starting a movie but I wanted to shower first. I said good night to the kiddos, taking extra time to snuggle Jojo (my fourth) and told each of the kids how much I loved them and gave them as generous a hug as my contractions would allow.
While in the shower, I had a few more contractions that were not eased by the hot water and they certainly weren’t slowing down. So, when I got out, I called my midwife and told her everything that was happening. She agreed it sounded like things were moving along quickly, so she’d head our way (she had an hour drive).
Once off the phone, I told Fr. Colin that I didn’t want to watch the movie and needed to just focus. I asked if they could start filling up the birth pool, which we had blown up earlier that afternoon, thank God. But, they realized we didn’t have the proper hose attachment to the shower (it had been lost since the last birth) so my dad offered to run to Lowe’s for the piece. I still needed that pool to be filled though ASAP, so my mom and husband literally filled it with big pots from the bathtub — God bless them.
Candles lit and prayers flowing.
Early active labor, still on my feet and smiling in between contractions.
By 10, my dad had returned and my midwife made it to the house. The rest of the pool got filled up and I started to need Fr. Colin's support to get through each contraction. Hymns were playing, the lights were dimmed, candle lights were flickering, and he and I were moving in and out of the dance of labor. It was beautiful and very peaceful. After contractions I was still able to laugh and talk with my midwife, but with each contraction, I was pulled deeper and deeper into concentration. Around 11, the pool was ready and I really needed some relief. So, in I went.
He is my rock. Just the touch of him made the contractions more manageable.
At this point, the two littles were finally asleep. They had been kept awake by the excitement but my big girls were still awake and wanted to be with us. So, they came in and sat on the bed while I labored in the pool. They had both been with me during the last birth, but only for the final pushing contractions so, while they wanted to comfort me, my second daughter voiced being scared and didn’t know how to handle it. We comforted her and gave her the option of leaving but she wanted to stay.
With each contraction the intensity grew and I needed someone's hand to hold through them because it made me feel grounded and safe. I kept chanting, “This is good.” and tried to concentrate on deep relaxed breaths. I was also able to pray the Jesus Prayer, “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me a sinner” through many contractions, which I had never been able to do before. It always felt too big but this time, when I focused on the prayer my contractions were much more manageable.
My sweet girls
Father had to step out for a second so she was there through a contraction.
My sweet mama, she’s never made it to one of my birth’s, so this was extra special.
A little after midnight, my midwife checked on the baby’s heart tones and mentioned that contractions had significantly slowed down. She asked if I wanted to get out of the pool to try to get them coming again but I told her my instinct was to rest. I was so tired. I hadn’t gotten a nap that day and needed to gather more strength for what was to come.
We sent the girls to bed and after unused the restroom, I wanted to know how dilated I was. I was questioning whether labor was stalling or if I was just getting a, “rest and be thankful” stage before pushing began. My instinct told me I was almost ready to push because of the way contractions were feeling but I needed the confirmation, especially because I was feeling so tired. So, my midwife checked my dilation and I was 9.5 cm! Almost there and I was very thankful that my intuition was correct. I decided to stay out of the pool for a rest on the bed, however long this pause lasted. I remember saying, “This is why I love home birth! I can just rest and no one is rushing me.” That seemed to be the whole theme of waiting for this baby.
After what felt like just a few moments I got two contractions that were very close together and I felt my body pushing into it. So, I got back into the pool and tried to prepare myself for the sensation of pushing and the increase in intensity of contractions, but I was really starting to doubt myself and my ability to push out the baby. I joked, more than once, about someone else taking the job from me and trading spots. No one would though…
It was now around 1 o’clock and for about two contractions I knew I probably needed to really push into the contractions but I tried just gently breathing and not resisting while visualizing my baby moving down. But, that proved fruitless and I felt no movement whatsoever. I voiced my doubt and my team — my husband, mom, and midwife — all encouraged me to listen to my instinct. I was strong and knew what I was doing, adjust and keep going.
My mom’s encouragement to listen to what my body needed made me lift my left leg and really push harder, which finally made him move down. Then pure instinct and physiology really took over. With one more contraction I panted, groaned, and pushed his head to my perineum and because of the intensity and pressure, I kept pushing until his head was out. I think it was only one full contraction that made all that movement.
Very intense, transition contractions.
Trying to not resist pushing but also not, not pushing.
Changing tactics and pushing with all I’ve got left.
I was completely shocked when I reached down and was confused by what I felt — a little hand! I had just pushed out his head and he had his hand by his cheek. No wonder it was so hard to push him. Before long, I got another contraction and I told Fr. Colin if he wanted to catch him, he needed to put his hands down and with my hand there too I felt his lit body wriggle and shift to come out.
With one more contraction, I pushed and he was out! The pure relief I felt as Fr. Colin handed him to me still brings me chills. I reached between his legs and discovered that he was indeed a baby boy and I said “we have another boy!”
My mom was in tears and Fr. Colin and I just laughed with joy. My mom went to grab the big girls but they proved to be very hard to wake up — Miriam walked in and walked right back to her bed, but Olivia was able to wake up after a bit and excitedly celebrated with us.
Baby boy was very peaceful when he came out. He gave some whiny cries and just looked all around. He had some bruising on his face and was struggling to get all the secretions out of his lungs so I instinctually put my mouth to his to get some of gunk out. I knew this can happen when babies descend in and out of the birth canal so quickly, no one was worried.
Completely in awe of our newest baby boy.
Sucking the secretions out of his mouth, he gave a good cry after that.
While we snuggled in the water, my midwife was monitoring my bleeding and mentioned that the water was darker than she was comfortable with and asked if I felt comfortable getting out of the pool. I got out and snuggled my sweet boy while she addressed my placenta.
Unfortunately, I was bleeding quite a bit even after I delivered the placenta so she asked if she could manually remove the amniotic sac that was holding tight to the inside. After a few excruciating moments, she was able to grab it and my bleeding stabilized. I never felt faint and my uterus stayed contracted the whole time but I’m thankful she was there to make sure I was stable. It’s not uncommon for multip-mothers (more than 4 births) to bleed excessively, so she was super on top of excessive bleeding.
Once that was taken care of, I was tucked into bed for snuggles with a big bowl of yummy oatmeal we had prepared earlier that day. After a while, my midwife performed the newborn assessment and we learned that our sweet boy was the smallest we’ve ever had! 8 lbs 4 oz! It’s shocking to me to consider how much smaller he’d be if he had been born closer to his “due date”.
After the pool was cleaned up and the initial wave of excitement settled, we tucked into bed, I thanked my midwife for everything, and simply marveled once again at our perfect baby.
It’s all worth it, in the end.
Final thoughts on my fifth full-term labor and birth
This end of pregnancy and labor challenged me to trust God’s perfect timing again. It seems to be a lesson I need to learn over and over again. Now, on the other side, I am so thankful for how it all turned out.
I had 5 beautiful days with my parents before the baby came, in which my body felt good, my mind was clear, and I was able to find contentment in the simple joys of my family. Two weeks later (at the time of writing), I regret nothing and I’m still savoring my baby boy's labor. He is darling and we are so blessed by him. I’m thankful the Lord chose me once again to mother a beautiful soul in this world and I’m forever thankful for the opportunity to labor and give birth naturally and peacefully at home.
