Until 100 years ago, home was the only place to give birth, and once hospital birth became an option, it was reserved for affluent women. Eventually, birth in the hospital became more normalized because of its pain-reducing options. And by the 80s and 90s, home birth was a marginalized idea.
Now, women decide where to give birth for a myriad of reasons. Some want the promise of pain relief. Others have medically complex pregnancies and require surgical intervention. Others see birth as a normal event that begins and ends at home. And every variation in between.
Today, I want to discuss how you can have a blessed and Christ-centered birth, wherever you are. I’ve given birth at the hospital and home and as well as attending both with dozens of women. Ultimately, I want to encourage you to choose the birth location where YOU feel safe and supported. Where your choices are met with respect, honest discussion, and support of your desires and needs. Regardless of where you choose to be, or where you need to be for your specific situation, God is with you.
So, let’s get into what makes a birth Christ-centered, the importance of prayer and preparation, and how you help center yourself on His peace throughout the labor and birth process.
This article is for educational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice.
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What is a Christ-Centered Labor and Birth?
There is a common idea in the birth world that if you prepare properly, if you choose the “right” location, if you have the “perfect” labor plan or birth map, etc. you will have an easy birth, God loves you more, and you honor Him by choosing the x,y,z birth.
That is not true.
Are we really isolating God to only the quiet home birth that unfolds uneventfully in precisely 4.5 hours? Absolutely not.
Our God who is omniscient and omnipresent, is not restricted to where you think He should be. But, He doesn’t and won’t press Himself upon you if you don’t want Him. Though He is always with us, you still have to acknowledge his presence and welcome Him into the decision. You are free to choose; just as you are free to give it all to Him. You must pray, take action, and trust that He will work through your free will.
So, how does one bring Christ into every birth location? It’s not complicated. It doesn’t require fancy gadgets and hours and hours of research. It just requires you, a solid team, and walking into birth with peace and confidence.
The Importance of Prayer and Inviting God into Your Labor and Birth Plan
There is no greater support than our Lord. And for the majority of women, you also need to choose a provider who will walk with you through your pregnancy and birth. So, while you’re excitedly planning your baby registry and wondering who your baby will look like, it’s important to set aside time for prayer and supplication for this process.
Through your prayers, you invite God into the space and ask His will to be done. It’s likely you already have an idea of what you want your birth to look like, but also consider where He may be leading you. Ask for Him to bless the provider you choose or to guide you to the appropriate provider to meet your needs. As you interview OB’s and midwives, discuss a home birth vs. a birth center, or what physiological birth looks like compared to an induction, pray at every step for clarity and peace. Then, notice where that peace leads you.
If the local hospital is the closest option but you don’t feel safe or at peace there, what's another option? If the home birth your sister spoke so well of makes you nervous, what’s another option?
“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” 1 Corinthians 14:33
When you invite God into the decision making process, you will be more confident in your decisions. There is no right or wrong decision, only what is best for you and your baby. Though it’s important to keep in mind that if you want a physiological undisturbed birth requires a very different location and preparation than a scheduled cesarean section. Regardless, God is present in both.
How to Create a Christ-Centered Birth — Wherever You Are
Though labor and birth can be unpredictable, there are steps you can take to ensure your mind stays focused on God and His peace. Simple things like prayers, lighting, music, and points of focus go a long way in helping your nervous system stay calm and focused. Whether you’re planning a home birth or scheduled cesarean, incorporate these ideas to help you stay focused on the Prince of Peace.
Pray before, during, and after
There are many incredible prayers, Akathists, or Paraklesis that can offer comfort in all stages of labor. When labor is starting or you’re preparing for an induction/C-section, pray “The Prayer for a Woman in Labor” (see below) or have your husband or doula pray it over you. You can also pray the Akathist to the Mother of God Nurturer of Children or to St. Olga who was a midwife and mother. Additionally, you can pray the Paraklesis supplicatory canon to the Mother of God to ask for her intercession.
Music
There is something so powerful to me about listening to the hymns of the church in labor. I am instantly put at ease when I hear the quiet drone of an ison or the lilting voices of cantors. There are many beautiful options on Spotify, and I am currently working on recording my own pieces for expecting mothers, all in one place.
Wherever your birth location, bring your favorite music with you. I’ve assisted in C-sections where the mother requests her music to be played over the speaker system in the OR, which instantly changes the space from sterile to intimate. If they don’t have a speaker system, bring your headphones or earbuds to play your music. You can always remove them when the baby emerges to hear their sweet cries.
Headphones are a great tool when transferring from home to hospital or birth center, to keep your mind focused and let labor flow.
Icons
Just like you want a cohesive and supportive team through labor, you want your host of saints with you. Bring your icons, or set up your icons in your birth space at home, to keep their presence close. Icons such as the Mother of God Helper in Childbirth, St. Olga, St. Emmelia the mother of saints, or St. Styllianos protector of children, may all be great options. Additionally, if you’ve chosen your baby’s patron saint, include their icon, or any saint that has drawn your prayers during the pregnancy.
Incense or essential oils
Smell is a very powerful sense. It can instantly transport you to calm or stress, so incorporate it wisely into your birth space. If you’re at the hospital or birth center, bring essential oils that encourage calm and peace; rose or lavender would be great. At home, burn incense on your alter or diffuse essential oils.
If you’re very sensitive to smell or worry you won’t like a lingering smell, you can always dab essential oils on a cotton ball and keep it by your nose for a short time. I particularly love this trick in the hospital because it’s easy to grab or discard when necessary.
If you’re so lucky to have some Holy Myrrh, bring that too with the icon of that saint for double the peace and intercessions. If you don’t have any, consider asking your priest for a cotton ball of holy oil or myrrh for labor.
Twinkle lights
Lighting is another potent sensory tool. Home birth and birth centers are usually keenly aware of how important lighting is but the hospital may need more guidance on what you want. Don’t be afraid to turn off the lights in your hospital room, put a sign on the door that says, “please do not turn on the lights”. Additionally, you can bring battery operated twinkle lights to put around your bed or draped around the room.
Quick note, if you don’t have much time to set up your hospital room for labor, use a face mask to block out the harsh lights. This can be extremely helpful when transferring from home to hospital or even birth center. Additionally, you can use high-quality blue-blocker glasses to guard against the harsh fluorescent lights.
Affirmation Scripture cards
Having a point of focus, similar to your Icon set-up, is essential to helping you stay calm and focused. I have had both positive affirmations and scripture verses in my birth space, which serve me at different points of labor. Sometimes a long scripture verse is too much to focus on, but a simple phrase can be grounding.
I encourage you to pray and repeat your affirmations or scripture verses prior to labor so that when you’re in labor they readily come to mind.
Hire an Orthodox doula (or Christian doula)
Having a doula, especially at a hospital, is proven to improve outcomes. When you’re able to build a relationship prior to labor and birth and then have continuous support during birth, it allows you to move through labor knowing you have at least two people (your husband and doula) 100% on your side. Your doula is not there to make decisions for you but to support your decisions and help you navigate a change in care, should it arise.
Ask your priest to pray for you
This one is not utilized enough, in my opinion. Your priest wants to be a part of your joys and your sorrows. His prayers are powerful before the feet of God and if you can ask him to come during early labor for special prayers or shortly after the birth for the prayers only a priest can pray, you will be infinitely closer to the peace of God. I understand the hesitation of inviting another man into your space, but you can be very clear with what you need, i.e. short prayers before and after birth. And clearly state you’re not here to entertain him but request his prayers. This is best set up before labor begins but your husband can also call during labor and ask the priest for prayers.
Other simple ways to create a peaceful environment
Ask all providers/staff to keep discussion and conversation to a minimum, especially in OR.
Be strict with your visitors at home and elsewhere. If they don’t support your labor and birth choices they don’t belong during labor.
Ask friends and family to pray for you but refrain from a mass text that may create more distraction and stress than do good.
If you have older children, have someone on stand by to help with them if you’re having a home birth, so your husband can focus on supporting you.
There Is No Such Things As A “Perfect Birth” But God Can Make Any Birth Perfect
There is no birth plan or focused birth map that will give you the perfect birth. Babies come when they’re ready, labor may need encouragement, you might get ill, but God is sovereign through it all. No matter whether your labor and birth follow exactly how you pray they do (I’ve had one!) or it goes against every desire you had (I’ve had one of those too), it’s all blessed.
That certainly doesn’t diminish your desires for birth! I am not minimizing how hard it can be when things go opposite of how you think they should. But, it’s still possible to have a peaceful and Christ-centered birth as an Orthodox woman, regardless of your birth location or how labor may unfold. Pray and prepare, and let God’s will be done.
