Birth Story: Sarah’s cesarean section and redemptive birth center VBAC
When I got pregnant with my first child, Ashton, I had all these ideas for what birth was going to be like. I envisioned a beautiful room, clean, and I envisioned all my support team guiding me. I imagined I would be in active labor the whole time I was in the hospital and doing most of my laboring at home.
My first birth couldn’t have been further from that. The week before my child was due my husband was informed that he was going to be ordained to the diaconate. Then, 4 days before my baby was due he was informed he was to be ordained to the priesthood (we only knew about this ordination for 10 hours). The weekend after he was ordained was Pascha, so of course my body was completely in survival mode.
So at 2 weeks overdue I was induced. After my water broke I was in the hospital with no contractions for 16 hours, then I was put on Pitocin for another 9 hours (3 hours of pushing). After 3 hours (and 25 hours since my water broke) my doctor informed me that I needed a c-section. My heart was broken. I felt like a failure as a woman. I was terrified on the operating table and I was not able to hold my baby until an hour after he was born. I didn’t see my husband’s eyes when he saw his son for the first time. I didn’t see him cut the umbilical cord. I felt like my journey into motherhood had been completely stripped from me. If you had a similar experience you know the dark place your mind goes to.
But the joy of it all was that I had a healthy baby boy, and he was absolutely beautiful! I reflected back on my birth after some time and realized the beauty of my Caesarian. I was lying on the table in the form of a cross (just 5 days after Christ was on the cross on Holy Friday) with my arms outstretched. I was cut open just as Christ was cut on the side while he was on the cross and I gave my body being cut and mangled, as a sacrifice for the birth and life of my new baby boy. WHAT A MIRACLE!
My second child, Jesse, was born in a birthing center after only 5 hours of labor. It was a beautiful VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) delivery with no complications and he was brought gently into this world in the water. I had an incredible support team who helped me truly believe that I could do it! Because some days I was so terrified to have a VBAC (especially after so many doctors told me I couldn’t do it since it was only 16 months after my c-section).
If you are in my shoes now and are terrified to have a VBAC, please listen to my story and know that God has you in his hands. He loves you and wants to do the very best for you! Even if that is another c-section, always remember this verse:
“For You created my inmost being; You knitted me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13
God intimately created you to be uniquely you and he also has done the same for your child. He will guide and protect you. Surround yourself with people who believe this and you will have all the confidence in the world!
All my love in Christ to you dear sisters,
Sarah Giannakakos
